How To Choose A Counsellor
Often there is only gut instinct to go on and it is difficult if you are referred or allocated to a person without any choice. Always trust your gut feelings but let your head have a say too. Here are a few guidelines to help:
- Do you prefer a human approach backed by good skills or a very clinical approach which is more distant?
- Is the person 'on your side' and there for you rather than an agency, a method, an employer or insurer? Negotiate if there are conflicting interests.
- Ask what brand, perspective or method of help is being used. Is it short-term or brief therapy? Is it long-term in-depth therapy or analysis? Is it a specific trauma method?
- Be sure of the contract you have with the helper, including cancellation conditions, payment, confidentiality issues.
- Is time given to building rapport and a trusting relationship? Some say the relationship is more crucial than the method.
- Do you feel physically and emotionally comfortable with the person? Is it an equal partnership where you are able to make your needs heard?
- Is your counselling 'trauma-focussed' using methods to rewind strong images described in 'Professional Help'? General counselling may be enough for some people but may not be enough for those with persistent symptoms.
- Do they really understand trauma associated with major incidents from the inside as well as on paper? Are they willing and humble enough to listen and learn.
No one has to stay with anyone they are uncomfortable with but:
- Professionals are human beings too - do give them a chance to get to know you and find the best way to work with you.
- They can only work with what you give them.
- A counsellor who is one person's horror may be another person's best guide.
- Traumatised people commonly have issues about trust, betrayal and anger - these can be directed towards the counsellor. Don't just leave - discuss your concerns first to check out if you are just displacing unwanted emotions.