Accepting Professional Help:
Is It Worth It? Is It Too Late?
After reading Liz's words in a recent newsletter and the local press at the time of the 2nd anniversary, that some people are still suffering but feel it is too late to seek support, I felt I should write a few words about my experience.
My husband and I left the crash site hugely shocked but physically uninjured and therefore thought we'd recover in a short time - after all it was what I felt was 'expected'. After the initial trauma, the weeks and months went on and I just couldn't seem to shake off the feeling that everything was not right. I lost enthusiasm for many things and just felt unable to deal with some everyday issues. I knew it was only since the crash that I felt this way, it was so unlike me, but as it was not something physical and nothing specific that was wrong with me, I just expected that it would go away in time and I kept 'soldiering on'.
It was only many months after the crash when we joined the network I realised I wasn't alone and that something could be done. I had felt that seeking compensation was something other people in a more serious situation did - after all, what was I being compensated for - I wasn't physically injured. What I eventually understood was that compensation was a means to pay for the help I now recognised that I needed - it took a while to come to that decision, nearly a year after the crash. The relief that I felt on the day we visited the solicitor was amazing. It was not an exercise in just 'getting compensation'. Suddenly here was someone who was a facilitator to get the help I needed. He made all the arrangements with MIB and discussed options as to what was the best sort of help. For example, one area I needed to deal with was trying to get back on a train again - my reactions to trains were still very strong.
In the last few months, I have made huge progress. I set a series of goals that I felt I had a good chance of achieving with support, I managed to make a short trip on a high speed train from Reading to Newbury. Whilst it's not second nature yet, I have now got excellent coping mechanisms in place to make a trip on a train feel like a journey - not an event. Other issues were dealt with too - I can also overcome the strong reactions on recalling the crash by acknowledging what a traumatic experience we went through, but as a memory, not a painful re-experience. I was in a much better state of mind to be able to cope with the 2nd anniversary too and now look at many things in a more positive way.
This has only been possible with excellent professional support - something as a cynic and doubter I felt I didn't need . However, the difference is remarkable. I know some people have more to deal with than I have, but to those of you who still find it difficult to deal with the event and have not sought any other support beyond family and friends - it's not too late - and consider the difference it could make.
Alison