A Plane And Train Story
On 11th March 2006, one Networker member gave a radio interview about the role of singing in a local choir played in her recovery after the train crash and then went on to Heathrow for her first flight since doing the BA Fear of Flying course at Heathrow. She had not been able to fly since the crash and still finds trains difficult. Here is her story.
"I was on a high from the radio interview on the Saturday (or at least having got the interview over), and the flight was to Copenhagen with my family just the next challenge.
We had a glass of champagne to celebrate and I looked out of the window and explained all the noises to the children. We took the bus to the centre as I couldn't face another challenge on a train that day. There was snow on the ground and the edge of the sea was frozen. We saw rows of wind turbines on the coast. It was fun to see a foreign country through the children's eyes and to see the differences they notice. We didn't have much time there but we went to the national museum and went up a tower with a 360 degree view of the city.
On Sunday I started to think about the return journey, and I had the feeling of 'Do I really have to do all this again?' I was pretty tired from the day before and knew I would be able to get on the flight but it was definitely becoming a struggle to keep calm.
The train journey didn't feel stressful but I guess it was at some level. On the plane, there was a delay while they refuelled, and they made an announcement that we had to unfasten our seat belts. I asked my husband why, and he said it was in case we had to make a quick exit from the plane. This linked up in my mind with the safety video which had said that if you have to exit in an emergency you mustn't take anything with you. And this made me think that I had already had to leave somewhere in an emergency with none of my belongings, and it overwhelmed me. I started to weep but that was when things started to get better.
The stewardess, a lovely girl, came straight over and asked what she could do to help, and I don't know how she knew that this would help me but she took me to say hello to the pilots. I sat chatting to them in the captain's seat and they were very interested to hear about the course. One of them said he had his name down to be a pilot on the course. They asked me what I didn't like about flying and how they could help, showed me the flight plan, and during the flight made a few announcements that I am sure were for my benefit about turning and climbing etc.
The stewardess chatted to me whenever she wasn't busy, and we hugged at the end of the flight. The pilots came out as I was getting off to see how I was. They could not have been more helpful, as for me that normalised the whole situation and that changed it around for me. I even ate most of my meal, helped by a couple of glasses of wine. I think they appreciated it too as they said they feel cut off from the passengers, but would hate to feel that someone on their flight wasn't happy. Maybe all I need to do now is to insist I meet the pilots on every flight!
I think the key is that I am building up good associations with flying now to replace the negative ones. It is better to voice my fears as that is the start of changing things. I do think as well that I did something for the crew as they all seemed so cheered up by my success and there were smiles all round. The other passengers must have wondered who I was. I had to get over my fear of getting more attention than anyone else, but that is all part of having a right to my experiences and a right to recover."